Learn to Solve Your Relationship “Issues” Before They Become a Costly “Subscription!”
Are you looking for a therapist because you’re in a marriage or relationship that seems filled with anger, or perhaps even worse, feels dead?
There is hardly a more emotionally painful situation than sharing your life with someone you can’t connect with in a positive way. If the communication problems continue, after awhile you stop trying… Of course, this never helps anything, but only makes the situation that much more unbearable.
But even if you’ve stopped trying to communicate, it doesn’t mean the desire to connect with that person goes away.
I’ve worked with numerous couples, and just like with parents and families, the most common problem that I see is communication. Partners don’t know how to talk to each other, let alone listen to one another.
If you find yourself in pain because of your inability to communicate with your partner, there is hope. As long as the desire is still there – even if only smoldering unnoticeably beneath the surface – the fire can be rekindled and reignited under the right conditions.
Recreating Your Life Together
Respect and friendship are two key elements of a successful relationship. But the prerequisite for both is communication. So this is the first focal point of the couples counseling services I provide… making sure you and your partner can not only openly communicate with one another, but also assuring that you can listen to each other as well.
It may seem like a past life, but you and your partner once spent hours on the phone or long evenings sharing your lives. You knew how to listen to each other then. So, it’s not beyond your ability to do it now. It’s a matter of refocusing your energies and making it a priority to give the other person the time and attention necessary to listen to what they’re saying and really hear them. It’s time to stop making assumptions and jumping three steps ahead in the conversation.
By starting at the beginning in therapy, you’ll eventually be able to make your way back to the feelings you shared early on in your relationship… Except this time they will be even deeper and longer-lasting, as you’ll now have the skills and understanding to enjoy your life together and move lovingly forward into the future.
Exploring Who You Are… Together
The pain and distress we feel due to past or present trauma, stress, and anxiety is often felt and expressed most in our close relationships. This is natural, given that we get used to being more open and expressive with our partners than with other family members, friends, or colleagues. But when expressing these feelings in a negative way begins to dominate our relationship, it can strain the relationship at a time when we need our partner’s support the most.
I help individuals identify external issues they are bringing to the relationship, and work with couples individually or make referrals to individual therapy when appropriate.
Additionally, I help couples explore lifestyle, values, belief systems, and other differences that result in relationship conflict, and I can help you and your partner negotiate them together through trust, respect, and understanding.
Some of these thought processes, beliefs, and behaviors go back years, but the more that is made conscious – and the more you are able to communicate these things to your partner – the more adept you’ll both become at understanding one another and adapting accordingly.
What If You’ve Decided It’s Too Late?
If you’re beyond contemplating the end of your marriage and need to begin the separation and divorce process, couples therapy can still provide support during a difficult transition and help keep the lines of communication open for your sakes as well as for the stability of your family. It may even help avoid the hassles of mediation and litigation.
No matter what situation your relationship is in, it is never too early or too late to seek couples therapy. The right time is different for every couple and rarely does a couple seek counseling at the “right” time.
If you think your relationship may be able to benefit from more honest and understanding communication — or any amount of communication — please feel free to contact me with your questions or to schedule a free consultation. I may be reached by phone at 650-634-9821, or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I provide my services to the highest ethical standards and my relationships with my clients are strictly confidential. As such, I must inform you that the information provided in this website is offered for informational purposes only; it is not offered as and does not constitute professional advice. Replies to e-mail messages will be general in nature and will not form a therapist-client relationship. Be aware that the confidentiality of information sent over the Internet, including e-mail, may not be legally or otherwise protected or secure.